My father has been (slightly) sick these last few days. It makes it even more difficult because I have to keep on him to take his medications, to drink fluids, and even to eat. Keeping him out of bed is normally a chore, but it is harder when he is feeling under the weather. He needs to rest, yes, but he also needs to drink water and eat and not skip medications.
Perhaps it is a seasonal allergy, or a minor cold, but if we are not careful it can turn into something worse - or he could decline mentally and physically by not eating or drinking or medicating. It is a constant battle to keep him going.
I am sure he is bored out of his mind. All he has in his life is the daily newspaper and television. He doesn't read books anymore, when he used to read one entire book a day. He doesn't (and can't) use a computer, and won't do crossword puzzles, or have any hobbies. He never leaves the house, not even to go to the store. There is no social interaction for him - except when the maintenance guys come in to fix the sink. Bleh
He is tired, worn out, and has no stamina. He will sleep the entire day and night away if I wasn't on him to get up. The longer he sleeps without eating or drinking water, the more likely it is that dehydration kicks in, and he will sleep until he dies. That is a hard truth.
I've told family and friends that this is probably my father's last year unless something dramatic changes. I keep him going. I keep him hydrated and fed. I keep him active - as much as I can. He is still feeble, he is still frail, and he is as thin as a rail. It doesn't take much to adversely tip the scale.
I won't allow my father to end up in a nursing home, except for hospice, when he is no longer there mentally. I've seen those elderly people lying unconscious in those beds, sleeping away their last moments. I always thought they were being over-medicated and that was why they are forever asleep. I have learned that is not the case. My dad does exactly the same thing and he looks exactly how those poor souls do, and he is not being over-medicated. It is just the end of life coming closer - quicker for those who have no interests, or interest. *sighs*
It is a daily grind and a daily struggle to keep him from slipping down to the last moments. I have to watch him, time him, check his medication levels, check to make sure he actually DID drink that glass of water and didn't secretly pour it into the sink. That is my daily life. At least part of it.
It kind of sounds like I am forcing him to live when he has no interest in living. I kind of am. I don't believe he wants to die, but at the same time he can't find anything worth living for. He is tired. I get that. I know that myself. It is a struggle, a battle, that we all fight at some point(s) in our lives.
Me, I go on just to spite those who don't care if I go on or not. That is my goal in what remains of my life. That is actually almost 100% true. 🙂
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