From time to time we all need to take stock of our lives, our work, our efforts, and relationships. We need to assess what is working, what is not working, and what is a waste of time and effort, and heart and soul.
Things change. People change. Circumstance changes. Everything changes.
Everything moves, even if we believe ourselves to be standing still in the same spot. If the symmetry of our existence was that we ourselves are the center of the universe, the universe still moves in unpredictable ways around us. So, unless we keep a close eye on the ever-changing orbital patterns in our lives we probably won't notice or realize those changes and pressures and evolutions, or revolutions.
I believe that everyone wants and desires change to some extent. We want new things to evolve, new experiences and interests to be added to our lives so that life doesn't become tedious and boring – That is, except for those things we like just as they are. We want our lives and society to improve in ways that we ourselves approve of, but we don’t want changes that we dislike, don’t agree with, or do not understand. It is our nature as human beings to form a concept and rule of a morality that only extends as far as the end of our nose; If we don’t recognize the smell of something, or it does not appeal to us, it goes into that morality list as something to be ruled against.
When people say something like, "I want my life back!", or "I want my country back!", or even, "I want our society to return to those better ways, and better times!", what they are actually saying is, "I want this and that to go back to the way it was, but at the same time I want to keep the new things that I like here too! Best of both worlds!"
The truth of life is that what was the best of times for one specific group of people, wasn't the best of times for most every other group of people – And for some, it was the worst of times.
If you desire the return of the idealized (fantasized) 1950s of white society in the United States, you will need to do that without computers, the Internet, cellphones, cable TV, multiple televisions in the house, having an automobile each for both you and your spouse (and perhaps additional cars for your kids). Your family will need to survive on one income because housewives do not have outside salaried employment; Their unpaid job is to be a housewife: Cooking, cleaning, raising the kids, managing the household bills, etc.
Things change. People change. Circumstance changes. Society Changes. Culture Changes.
“I want my best friend to be my best friend and closest person to me for all of my life” That is almost never the outcome for most people. You change, the friend changes, and circumstance changes. You get into a romantic relationship, or they do, and that changes everything.
“I want my favorite restaurant to be there for me always!” But the restaurant closes, or they change the menu, or change cooks and servers or owners. It is the same with a favorite bar, or pub, or club. It changes styles, or themes, or the crowd changes, and atmosphere changes. Everything changes. Things never remain the same.
We must at times look at every aspect and each and every element of our personal lives and professional lives to see what is still working for us. We will need to tweak some things, and in some cases completely replace those things, because when something remains the same for too long it is because it is stagnant, and might be rotting from the inside.
What worked 10 years ago might not be working today. This applies to business, romance, intimacy, and every form of personal relationship. When we settle into a comfortable existence, we treat it casually and expect it to remain the same forever (or for as long as we want). But that is never the case because we are never alone in that comfort zone. Other people are there too. How they feel, what they think, it always affects the stability of our assumed comfort zone.
People change.
When people change, everything changes.
So, yes, we often need to look at our lives and analyze every aspect and circumstance in them and decide where we need to make changes. We will always need to make changes. Nothing remains the same. There is no such thing as a forever-comfort-zone, no matter how much we desire it. You must look and see if you are just spinning your wheels, because when you are spinning your wheels you are not moving forward.
Life is a long incline on a very steep hill. When you spin your wheels you are not simply not moving forward, you are actually losing ground, sliding back, because you are on that steep incline. You lose ground inch by inch, and when you lose ground on a steep incline, it takes much more effort to get back to where you were, much less get higher on the hill.
When you are comfortable and content, happy and carefree, that is when you begin sliding imperceptibly backwards. If you are not vigilant about your life and circumstances you will not notice that you've lost ground on that road, that hill of life, until your gains in life have eroded beyond reclamation. You can never regain the exact same place and position again. All you can strive for is a similar, but different place and position on that steep hill of life. You might even have to go all the way back down and get on a very different road.
Life changes. People change. Circumstance changes. Roads change. Everything changes.
The shape of the center of the universe, or YOU, is never constant because of the changes and pressures from objects in orbit around it. That means that you must change too, even if it is unwillingly. No one said you have to like it, or be happy with it. You just have to do it.
You must always be proactive in your own life. You must constantly reevaluate your life, your relationships, your career and business, and even your hobbies, to see what is working for you, or not working well enough, or if something has become detrimental. When you do that, you also need to consider how your actions, or passivity, or behavior affects other people;
You are not alone in the universe, even if you believe yourself to be the center of it. Other people can remove you from that center, if you are not mindful and considerate of their wants and needs and thoughts. The universe can become a big doughnut, and doughnuts my friends, can be wonderful things.
Be the doughnut, not the hole.
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