Spare the Rod — Or Maybe Just Use It on Adults Instead?

Some very loud adults are calling for the return of corporal punishment in schools. The funny thing? It never really left in some states. And for those of us who lived through it, well… let’s just say, it wasn’t exactly a golden age of discipline.

The Era of Community-Wide Spanking

I grew up in a time when corporal punishment was part of everyday life — not just in schools, but anywhere people felt it was necessary. Parents would spank their kids in public, and strangers could step in to deliver discipline too. Yep, you read that right — random adults, including those with no children of their own, could and did hit other people’s kids. It was the Wild West of child discipline.

A Tale of Unjust Punishment

I endured a lot of corporal punishment at school. And when I say a lot, I mean way more than the average kid. Most students never got paddled, and those who did maybe experienced it once or twice. Me? Let’s just say I was above the curve — but nowhere near the top. Some kids had it way worse.

One punishment stands out vividly. A girl in my class thought she heard me say a dirty word. She told the teacher, who told the principal, who then marched in with two other adults, demanding I follow them. I was innocent — I hadn’t said a bad word. But they didn’t care. They never let me confront my accuser. They just took her word for it.

I refused to "assume the position." The school called my mother, telling her I’d be expelled if I didn’t submit. My mom stood by me, thankfully, and pulled me out of that school. The next day, I was enrolled at St. Vincent’s Episcopal School. During my years there, I was only spanked once. Thank God there were no nuns—otherwise, I’d have had a much harder time. Catholic-Lite, as I call Episcopalians: no nuns, no confession, and, amusingly enough, the priests could have Playboy magazines in their offices, and nobody batted an eye.

My Stance on Corporal Punishment

You might think this would make me vehemently opposed to corporal punishment. Not exactly. I do think it should be allowed in certain cases. But here’s my caveat: If we allow it for children, we should also enforce it for adults.

If a kid acts up so badly that spanking is necessary, their parents should be called in and punished too. After all, if they failed at raising their child, why should only the kid suffer?

And why stop there? If corporal punishment is good enough for kids, why isn’t it part of the legal system? I’m not saying we should bring back scourging or implement full-blown caning — but a paddling or a well-placed hickory switch? Adults might straighten up real fast.

Selective Endorsements?

It’s easy to say, “We need to bring back corporal punishment!” when you’ve aged out of it and it no longer applies to you. That’s not support — it’s just passing the punishment down to the next generation.

Spare the rod, spoil the child? Well, considering most adults these days are acting like children… maybe the rod shouldn’t be spared just because someone hit 18.

Of course, some people enjoy being spanked, so for them, the real punishment should be watching The Cat in the Hat (2003) with Mike Myers — while transcribing every terrible line for 12 straight hours. Now that would be justice.

Have a good day!

M. W. Van Dyke